If you often feel anxious, low, or overwhelmed and find yourself constantly trying to “manage” those feelings, you are not alone. During Mental Health Awareness Week, many people focus on immediate actions to feel better day-to-day. However, it is worth considering what happens when these struggles persist despite your best efforts.
What does ‘good mental health’ mean?
To me, mental health primarily refers to emotional well-being—the ability to experience and move through a wide range of emotions without becoming stuck. It includes flexibility and confidence in how you relate to yourself and others. It means not feeling persistently anxious or low, and not becoming frequently overwhelmed as if safe situations are somehow threatening.
Everyday strategies to manage distress
There are various practical activities you can use to lift yourself out of distressed states:
- For Low Mood: Try to get outside for a walk, spend time with supportive people, or gently structure your day with a community activity.
- For Anxiety: Utilise grounding exercises, such as noticing five things you can see and four you can feel, or focus on slow, steady breathing.
Mindful breathing is a powerful tool to tell your brain that you are safe. It encourages a ‘rest and digest’ physiological state, moving you away from the ‘fight or flight’ response. Another effective strategy is simply naming the feeling. Putting words to your experience—such as “I feel ashamed” or “I feel overwhelmed”—can reduce the intensity of the emotion.
For those struggling with sleep, you might try ‘paradoxical intention’. Sleeplessness is often caused by the pressure to fall asleep. By creating the intention to stay awake—perhaps by listening to a radio programme—you may find it easier to relax and naturally drift off.
When coping strategies are not enough
While these strategies are valuable, using them in isolation can become a form of “firefighting.” You may be treating the symptoms rather than the patterns that underlie them. As a result, the distress often returns with the same intensity.
Therapy helps you understand the core beliefs and patterns of relating that drive these states. Whether you are dealing with depression, anxiety, or a persistent sense of being overwhelmed, psychotherapy looks beneath the surface to create structural change.
Why do we get stuck?
At some point, many people develop what is known as a “creative adjustment”—a way of coping that once provided protection. For example, withdrawing from others or becoming defensive may have been necessary in past circumstances. However, these patterns become limiting when they continue in situations where they are no longer required. You might find yourself:
- Struggling to open up to supportive people.
- Maintaining distance when connection is available.
- Reacting defensively in safe environments.
Therapy helps you recognise and shift these blueprints, supporting you to be protective when necessary and open when it is safe to connect.
The Bigger Picture
Therapy does not remove challenging social conditions or difficult circumstances. Collective action through employers and government is essential for widespread well-being. However, therapy can help you become more resilient and flexible, enhancing your agency so you can play a greater role in shaping your own environment.
Considering therapy
Depth-orientated therapies explore the underlying relational patterns that amplify your distress. If this resonates with you and you are seeking private therapy, you are welcome to get in touch to arrange an initial free 15-minute consultation.